April 12, 2017

Just Lean In And

Kiss My Scrubs!

Welcome, welcome. Thank you for taking the time to check out my little corner of the web-verse. Want a little bit of back story for this venture? You can find that here. 

Otherwise... I'm not really very good at this blogging thing yet. It still takes me a minute to believe that people want to hear what I have rattling around inside my head. That being said, the goal for this blog is about a once a week sharing of the internal thoughts. They will be updates on how things are faring out at the markets, recipes for scrubs I'm looking to try, baking recipes, cross stitch and crochet patterns, informationals on skin care and the ingredients I use. Pretty much whatever strikes the old fancy at the current moment. 

So today, today. Today's post should be epic, right? The kind of post I can look back on and not be embarrassed about. The only problem with that is that I don't feel epic today. Sure, I worked out and took a shower before my kiddo got up this morning. We successfully navigated her eating an orange at the store. And we made it to story time today. Still, though, my epic-ness levels are low and hiding in a hole with a good book sounds about like the most amazing thing I could do. 

I feel this way about selling my products at markets too. I am an introvert and it is almost painful for me to talk to new people. Mr. Scrubs is the sales guy. It's quite amazing to watch him work his magic. He tries to help me, but I get tongue-tied and shy and that's the end of that. By the end of market season last year, I had made some improvements. Not a lot, but enough. I'm still not always sure what to do when people walk into the booth and don't say anything back to my greeting. There's an awkward moment when I know they heard me, but they are pretending not to. I have a toddler, I know when these things are happening. These encounters always become part of my stress dreams later. Instead of being chased by a laser rocket firing helicopter while on foot, I'm standing in my booth and trying to talk to people who make no acknowledgements. Fun times.

Owning my own business wasn't really my life's plan or ambition. Since I was twelve, I wanted to work in the forensics field. It was what I went to school for and received specific training. Business classes were actively avoided at all costs. Hindsight and all that tells me that this was a major bummer. Instead of conforming to my carefully thought out and curated plan, life threw out a wicked slider and I had to come up with a new direction. That new direction involves hours of debates regarding the perfect color palette and display strategy. And to tears and frustrations when I don't sell what I thought I should sell.

But here I am so I try to overcome my natural inclinations and instincts and find my epic-ness each week I set up that booth. This next part is going to be tricky, so stay with me. I eventually had found my confidence in being a stay at home mom. I am so grateful that I get to experience each milestone and spend a ton of time with the kiddo. She is a joy and a terror. Coming up with an idea, pitching it to multiple people, setting up my shop, and making my sales each week has given me a different kind of confidence. I can show the kiddo that, no matter what craptastic curve balls that life throws, you can come up with a new direction and find that epic-ness again. It will take time and a lot of allowance for doubt, sadness, grief, and other things. But you can be epic.